Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
