Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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