he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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