Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
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If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
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You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
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