I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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