It was confusing and full of hummus
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
