i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
