When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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