So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
