did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
