I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
