Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
