dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
