yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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