ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
