Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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