it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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