I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
All the doctor said was why
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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