He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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