I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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