I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
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