he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
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Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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