All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
