I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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