i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
