So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
