Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
What drink are we having for lunch?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
