Got a toothbrush?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize