i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Text me some of your sweat
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
