wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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