No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
