I'm going to jail i love you
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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