i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
