Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
