I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
