so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
