covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
