So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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