would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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