I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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