Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
