he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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