Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
