So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
