the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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