You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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