dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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