Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
