The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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