I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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