Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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