I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
