'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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