When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
