break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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