you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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