Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
