she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
