Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
