$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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