is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize