Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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